Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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