i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
