i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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