I don't think brook has ever known best
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
