I can tuck mytits in my pants
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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