i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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