Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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