Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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