why didn't you poke me back
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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