she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
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