Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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