i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
