Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
COCAINE IS GR8
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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