erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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