but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
