Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
