I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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