2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
