we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
