Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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