Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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