Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
