That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
