On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
