Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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