I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Just high enough for therapy.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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