Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
