I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
