come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
