yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
