You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
