I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
