I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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