I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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