wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
