I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I have demons in me.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
