I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
