Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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