i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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