why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
