is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You made out with two different species that night
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
