yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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