he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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