Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
