Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
