Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm bleeding and have questions
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
