Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
