If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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