Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
