hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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