does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
