Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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